Forget singing into your hairbrush in front of the mirror – head to south-west Ireland for a shot at superstardom... and a Corking night out!
by Ginny Cumming
When it comes to very bad music, the Irish have a saying: “Aw, that’s the tune the old cow died of.” And after a woeful attempt at singing while in Cork recently, may I extend my deepest sympathies to the bovine that must have kicked the bucket on my account.
I was in the beautiful south-west of Ireland to explore the growing karaoke scene. Like most cities on the Emerald Isle, Cork is full of quaint pubs and chic bars, all offering the quintessential Irish experience. Live music abounds, with everything from traditional folk ensembles to U2 tribute bands, but it is karaoke that is garnering a huge legion of passionate new fans.
Blame it on The X Factor, blame it on Stars In Their Eyes, blame it on the fact that even Paris Hilton and Jordan have record deals – everyone’s after their moment in the spotlight and the few minutes of fun/ exhilaration/sheer terror that can only come from belting out a tune in public. The good news is that many venues are only too pleased to entertain people’s wishes… and in the process provide brilliant entertainment for everyone else.
Cork is no exception. After a day spent discovering the delights of last year’s European City of Culture and its glorious surrounds – including a visit to Blarney where I kissed the famous stone in the vain hope its mythical powers would extend beyond the spoken word and magically improve my singing skills – I met up with Anne Marie Campbell. Recognising the potential in the industry some time ago, she bought the rights to Karaoke Ireland (www.karaokeireland.net) and set about introducing Irish people to the magic of the microphone.
Four years (and one signifi cant sponsor, in the form of bookmaker Paddy Power) later, and the annual competition is enjoying astonishing publicity and support. Some 25 bars and pubs in Cork alone are set to be part of this year’s national contest, promising a summer full of true Irish craic – and the odd Celine Dion number.
The competition will culminate in the All-Ireland Grand Final in Dublin in August. National radio station 2FM is even in on the act, with The Gerry Ryan Show conducting its own live auditions on-air. Sure beats traffi c reports and weather updates. One male and one female champion will be crowned at the Grand Final, and then head off to Finland and Estonia for the World Championships in September. And with a substantial cash prize – plus, of course, the honour and the glory – going to the winners, it’s obvious why this competition is so popular.
But the main reason is because karaoke is fun. Fun to do, but especially fun to watch. You’ll fi nd yourself acting like Sharon Osbourne one minute, cheering on the underdogs and applauding the truly talented, only to turn into Simon Cowell the next, criticising everything about some poor punter, from their pitch to their styling. And when you combine such innocent pleasures with Cork’s legendary hospitality, you’re guaranteed some genuine Irish craic. I headed off to Plato Murphy’s on Hanover Street and later to O’Flaherty’s Bar at Parnell Place, for a night that covered the complete karaoke spectrum: the good, the bad and – ultimately for me – the tragic…
Bernard Murphy, 26
Occupation: Account manager for an IT distributor Song performed: Let There Be Love (Nat King Cole) What do you like to sing? Mariah Carey How often do you sing karaoke? I’m always here every Sunday night How do you rate your chances in the competition: I don’t! But I do think, in my own heart, that I am the best dancer in Cork
Jonathan Keys, 22
Occupation: I’m not a very good one, but I’m a hairdresser Songs performed: I Believe in a Thing Called Love (The Darkness), You Raise Me Up (Josh Groban/Westlife) What do you like to sing? I’ll sing anything, but The Darkness made me famous! How often do you sing karaoke? Four nights a week How do you rate your chances in the competition? We’ll see how it goes
Patricia Cronin, 35
Occupation: Customer advisor for Argos Song performed: Movin’ On Up (M People) What do you like to sing? M People and J-Lo How often do you sing karaoke? Not very often, but I did used to be in a band How do you rate your chances in the competition? Patricia’s friend, Michelle, rates her chances as “110%”
Paul Mason (aka the only Elvis in Cork), “21”
Occupation: Accountant Songs performed: Burning Love, Suspicious Minds and The Wonder Of You (Elvis Presley) What do you like to sing? Daniel O’Donnell, Tom Jones and Elvis (durr!) How often do you sing karaoke? About twice a week – and four times a year I perform at the Regent Palace Hotel in London How do you rate your chances in the competition? I do it as a hobby – I don’t like competitions
Ginny Cumming, 29 (again)
Occupation: Editor, yeahbaby Song performed: Islands In The Stream (with apologies to Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers), with O’Flaherty’s karaoke host, Pat Dilworth What do you like to sing? Anything by Marcel Marceau How often do you sing karaoke: Whenever I am “encouraged” to by a sadistic Editorial Director! How do you rate your chances in the competition? Absolutely, completely – and justifi ably – non-existent
marryoke
It was a match made in karaoke heaven. When Cork primary school teacher Rachel Browne, 24, entered the Paddy Power Karaoke Ireland competition last year, it was just for a laugh. But by the end of the year, she had not only won the title of karaoke world champion but also sung for a royal princess in Thailand... and met her future husband!
After blitzing the Cork heats, Rachel was then crowned national female champion. Together with the men’s winner, special needs assistant Danny Cummins, 29, she travelled to Finland for the World Championships – where Danny fi nished runner-up in the male section and Rachel was crowned queen!
Since that fateful competition they’ve both had their 15 minutes of fame extended considerably, with appearances at numerous events around the country, plus judging duties at other karaoke competitions and a royal command performance on an all-expenses paid trip to Thailand just before Christmas. Romance also blossomed and just eight months after they fi rst met, Danny popped the question! Altogether now – “Goin’ to the chapel...”
tinytips
while you’re there...
If you’re going to act like a star on stage, then you need to stay at the right hotel. The Clarion (www.clarionhotelcorkcity. com, tel. +353 (0) 21 4224 900), is situated on the famous River Lee just a few minutes’ walk from the centre of town, and is a sleekly glamorous contemporary new hotel that will cater to your most diva-like demands.
5 miles from Cork
It’s the morning after, and if you’re not too busy fending off offers from record companies, head fi ve miles out of the centre of Cork to “the biggest little village in Ireland” – Blarney. Centred around the ancient village square, it’s a place steeped in history and folklore, the most famous of which is the legend of the Blarney Stone. According to myth, whoever kisses the stone will be granted the gift of eloquence, and more than 200,000 people visit the castle each year in order to test this “gift of the gab” theory. For your lips to make contact with the stone – which is located high up in the castle, set in the wall below the battlements – you have to lie down on the parapet walk, grasp an iron railing and lean far backwards. It’s quite safe, and it’s defi nitely worth a photo. The castle is situated in more than 1,000 acres of woodland and gardens, with an ancient rock close that includes a witch’s stone, fairy glade, druids’ circle, sacrifi cial altar and “wishing steps” – but be warned, you have to go up and down them backwards for your wish to come true!
issues archives 
